Radically Real

Sex

A friend online was commenting to me that she was having a discussion with another Christian who was of the conclusion that the Bible really didn't say anything about sex outside of marriage. Here was my response

I use Genesis 2:24 "For this reason a man will
leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two will become one
flesh." I just break it down.

For what reason? "She becomes bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh." That
means this is a permanent arrangement. The two become one. It's no wonder we
have so many broken people in the world, they are uniting and ripping apart and
uniting and ripping apart and looking for someone to make them whole, apart
from Christ that can't happen.

A man—this implies grown. How do I know that?

Will leave his father and mother. This couldn't have been for Adam, God was his
father and he had no mother. This is for us. Young gentleman are you grown up
enough to leave your father and mother's house and set up a home of your own?
Then you're ready for the next step.

And be united to his wife. notice the word united does not go with
significant other, girlfriend but rather wife. Young gentleman I ask again have you
left your father and mother's house and have you set up a home of your own? and
then are you ready to marry the girl, that is the order that God set up and
only after you have set up your own home, and married the girl do we see that you
get to become one flesh. At that point say, and some of you are probably
thinking but I'm only a kid, I'm not ready too be married, I am not ready to set
up a home of my own, and I say you just answered your own question. You're
not ready for sex.

That's how I teach kids on the subject. No the Bible may not seem totally clear on
sex outside of marriage, and I think that is largely because the sex act was
in a very real way the consummation of the marriage. In doing the act they were
uniting for life. Why else would God constantly talk about idolatry and
prostitution in the same way? He's also pretty clear on adultery which is, to my
mind, the only other sex outside of marriage.

I know you already know this stuff, just sharing how I teach. I always do it
with love, grace and humor (I do a section called "he might be a dog," that's
kind of like Jeff Foxworthy's "You might be a redneck" that deals with the
lies guys tell to get what they want.) but I also make it clear. I see too
many kids that decided they were in love and so it was okay and it usually
becomes carnage.

An elist that I belong to recently started a rather ugly discussion on homosexuality. Evidently Brian McLaren posted some comments on Homosexuality that have ignited a firestorm on the list. The person posting some of his comments was clearly trying to use his comments as a way to discredit the emergent, postmodern church. Here are my thoughts.

Lately, my thoughts are increasingly that these types of discussion groups do little more than allow us to fight with each other. There is a clear axe to grind on the list against the postmodern emergent movement. The great frustration for me on this is that once again we are burying our heads in the sand while the world burns. A dear friend and brother talked me out of leaving the group or I would have. I have a hard time with most of what is discussed here.

As far as why homosexuality is the big problem and the great divide, I have a theory. It's the sin we're not committing. All those other things will step on someone's toes but we can feel good about ourselves because "at least we're not gay." The worst sin in the world is always the one we're not committing. We humans apply degrees to sin so that we can feel better than others. My prayer is that if gay people come into my church that they would find the only thing that can set them free, the love of Jesus. I preach truth and sin and repentance and I don't sugar coat but I do speak the truth in love. I'm an ex-drunk and I tried to quit many times, only one thing worked. Loving people took a drunk into the church and showed him the love of Jesus. He called us to be fishers of men, but too many "church people" are Gorton's of Gloucester fishermen. We expect the fish to jump into the boat while it is tied to the dock, cleaned, boxed and cry-o-vac sealed for freshness. Real fishing is messy and hard work and requires us to go where the fish are. All most of us want are nice church people, so we become the church of the revolving door with consumer Christians jumping from church to church trying to find the church that makes them comfortable and happy. Our church buildings become bushels and the world around us just gets darker and darker. There has got to be a better way.

I love the church, but I am concerned for her. The religious people of His day rejected Jesus because he didn't act like them. Today I think we'd do the same thing. He can't be Jesus, he doesn't dress right. He can't be Jesus, he hangs with the wrong people. He can't be Jesus, he's not interested in my peace march. He can't be Jesus, he likes contemporary music. He can't be Jesus, he likes hymns. I think I am going to stop trying to figure out why others are not like me, stop trying to convince others to be like me and spend my time trying to be like him.