Wednesday, March 03, 2004
Inadequacies
Lately I have been really struggling with feelings of inadequacy. I have been driving friends and family crazy with thoughts and questions and struggles. I wish I could say I am over it. I'm not completely, but I feel like I'm on the way. I keep feeling like I'm not adequate to do the ministries that are before me, but today in prayer something hit me that I know and should have been holding on to. Here's what I learned.
My church is not getting as big as I would like it to as fast as I would like it to. God never said it would, I set the figure, kind of like in my worldly days when I thought I would be a millionaire by thirty. My speaking ministry is not as prominent as I would like it to be. It's not about me being prominent, it's about me spreading the word and making Him more "prominent." I'm not the kind of father I'd like to be sometimes. Maybe I need to spend more time with the Father to learn how to be a better father.
Here's the point. Satan is beating me over the head with a bunch of unrealistic expectations that are making me feel defeated and like I should give up. But the "voice of truth it telling me a different story" the voice of truth and the word of God tells me that I am inadequate and so are you, deal with it. With man it is impossible but with Him all things are possible. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. The thing is I have to be doing what He wants me to do. I have to be doing His plan. My goal from this time forward is to pray seek Him and realize if my vision is not too big for me, it's not big enough. If I don't feel inadequate, I'm too self important. My job is not to make it happen only He can do that. My job is to be faithful and walk by faith. It's gonna be a tough road but I don't have to walk it alone.
Lately I have been really struggling with feelings of inadequacy. I have been driving friends and family crazy with thoughts and questions and struggles. I wish I could say I am over it. I'm not completely, but I feel like I'm on the way. I keep feeling like I'm not adequate to do the ministries that are before me, but today in prayer something hit me that I know and should have been holding on to. Here's what I learned.
My church is not getting as big as I would like it to as fast as I would like it to. God never said it would, I set the figure, kind of like in my worldly days when I thought I would be a millionaire by thirty. My speaking ministry is not as prominent as I would like it to be. It's not about me being prominent, it's about me spreading the word and making Him more "prominent." I'm not the kind of father I'd like to be sometimes. Maybe I need to spend more time with the Father to learn how to be a better father.
Here's the point. Satan is beating me over the head with a bunch of unrealistic expectations that are making me feel defeated and like I should give up. But the "voice of truth it telling me a different story" the voice of truth and the word of God tells me that I am inadequate and so are you, deal with it. With man it is impossible but with Him all things are possible. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. The thing is I have to be doing what He wants me to do. I have to be doing His plan. My goal from this time forward is to pray seek Him and realize if my vision is not too big for me, it's not big enough. If I don't feel inadequate, I'm too self important. My job is not to make it happen only He can do that. My job is to be faithful and walk by faith. It's gonna be a tough road but I don't have to walk it alone.
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